The savage dog
We walked past the standing groups of people, turned a corner and we came across two bull mastiffs. They stood to guard as soon as they saw us approaching and, without notice, one of them charged straight at me, barking loudly, while the other one held ground, growling and barking.
I experienced an acute awareness of a large, chunky brown dog with bared teeth and loud mouth charging straight at me. I just looked at the dog straight in the eyes and questioned, “But why?” I love animals. The dog could sense I had no fear. He stopped straight on his tracks, about six feet away from me. I continued to look at him, holding out my hand and speaking softly to him, to reassure him I was not threatening. He began to wag his tail, still barking, but not quite sure what to do next.
Respecting his guard, I did not go nearer. And I felt relaxed where I was. I continued to look at him, until my companion, who had been watching, spoke to me. We exchanged a few comments about what had just happened, then I asked him if he had been afraid. He nodded, “Weren't you?” “No,” I said, matter of factly, "But I can see why it should have been scary." Then I realised how unusual that might sound. And I was surprised that I really had not been afraid.
I wondered, was the dog just trying to scare me and would never have pounced? Or was he surprised that I was not afraid and suddenly became fearful of this creature (me) who was not afraid of him? He had acted submissive, wagging his tail after such a charge. And the truth was, if we had got into a fight, I wouldn't have stood a chance against him.
The disappearing acts
Back inside, the disappearance acts were the highlight of it all. I literally could not believe my eyes. The rest of the events that transpired during this night eventually brought me to see the importance of being driven not by the senses but by love that is divine power, for where the light shines no darkness can venture.
On the way out, the fellow with the chainsaw tried to intimidate me. Ha! I had screamed when he touched me from behind with it earlier, the element of surprise! But now he stood in front of me and I looked him straight in the eyes. He raised the chainsaw louder. I screamed at him. He was surprised. He raised it again and I raised my voice. This went on a couple of times more until finally he could not hold a smile and moved on.
A few steps closer to the exit and there he was again. This time he took a stance and I went into one of my own. He raised his chainsaw again and I simply showed up my hands as if to say, “Well, seems these are all I have!” He gave in happily, smiling and keeping eye contact – I could feel we had somehow connected on a person to person level, beneath his makeup, costume and role play – and he gave me high five. It felt great. Even though there was indeed nothing to fear in a fake (but very good copy) chainsaw, my reaction was so unusual that the surprised made him curious enough to make a connection. One that brought smiles.
The freak wave
Later still, after a drink and a dance at a nearby hangout, we ventured into the wild elements. The wind hooted through the sail ropes of the yachts in the boat yard at Manoel Island and the sea swelled and swirled. Peckish in the early hours, we decided to get pastizzi from Paceville.
We drove towards St Julians and stopped near Surfside for a few moments to admire the spectacle and scream in exhilaration at the power of the wind and the high waves crashing hard several metres.
Back along the road, on the stretch between the Love sign and Park Towers, a large wave sweeps onto the pavement, several feet above the ordinary sea level. I saw a man run and quickly cross the road. “This is dangerous,” I said out loud. I clenched the steering and stepped on the gas, meaning to get through the road faster. But suddenly there it was, a huge wave towering several feet above our heads. We seemed to be charging at each other.
We crashed into a wall of water as it crashed down straight on top of my car, making it shake as the windscreen went completely white. It lasted several seconds and I continued to press the gas, driving against the pressure of the wave, which I imagined was pushing me across the road towards the cars parked on the other side. If the bang of metal on metal did not come from my car crashing into the parked cars, it could come from a head on collision. I began to honk the horn like there was no tomorrow, until the foam dissipated and I could see the road was clear. I was eventually impressed to find myself emerging back onto the road unscathed.
As we emerged, I took some deep long breaths. My companion assumed I must have been in panic and suggested I take time out but I replied that I was just releasing the adrenaline and lowering my heart rate and that looks like a good safe spot with a view where we could eat. He looked at me as if to say: "Are you for real?" Then I noticed that, again, I had not been afraid at all. Survival instinct had kicked in, yes, but I was not afraid to die. Even I was surprised.
My companion and I babbled on excitedly about what had just happened. We had been literally washed over by a wave! Driven through the sea on land! And why was all this happening tonight? How freaky!
The peaceful warrior
The savage dog and the chainsaw guy and the freak wave really seemed to have chosen me for a target on this fearful night of Halloween. Yet, I remained calm and collected, perhaps even curious and playful. Am I really so fearless? Just like a warrior in a life-threatening situation, I had either stood my ground or charged through, but never worried what could become of me. It was quite a revelation.
Particularly because I have recently been told to look at my North Node in astrology by more than two persons, and there they were, my warrior past lives. "You have spent many lifetimes as a warrior, without attachments, knowing you would always move on and perhaps won't live long. In this life, your mission is to create connections and relations and allow love into your life."
And love is the power that makes me a warrior in this life. When I attempted to relate to my companion a deeper reflection about the events of that very eventful night, I realised that in those moments I had felt so connected with All That Is, and trusted the What Is to such a degree, that I surrendered to its perfection, knowing that there is nothing to fear. It is not my constant state, but a more common state I feel these days. I know that all I can do is my best in any situation.
“Or perhaps I am a witch!” I laughed. “Would you be afraid?”
“Not of you, no,” he smiled.
“Good! I'm glad you feel that way,” I said.
And I whispered to my Lord, "Hare Krishna. You are in me and I am in you. Jay Gurudev."