Ultimately, men are just people, particular souls with whom to share a loving exchange. With anybody I meet, I strive to create a heart connection, which may take any form of relation. The ideal "relationship", one that stems from mutual understanding, compassion and a higher intention, is the only one I feel worthwhile investing in more deeply in the longer term. The only romantic relationship that can last is a conscious relationship. Then I refuse to become exclusive unless those qualities appear.
I enjoy travelling to other planets, just like The Little Prince. I am curious by nature and I enjoy exploring the different realities experienced by other human beings. By creating a shared reality with anybody I meet, I have the opportunity to explore many lifetimes of experiences within a single lifetime. It is, to me, the expression of Divinity consciously experiencing itself.
I am also acutely aware of individual feelings and needs within any human experience, and they are all different from person to person. As human beings, we come together when our feelings are supported and our basic emotional needs are met. There are other reasons too - born of Identification and Fear - but I do not engage in those anymore when I become aware of them.
There is one basic need common to all mankind: to love and be loved. It is our nature, because of our soul's evolutionary goal of being Love itself. Pure and unalloyed love is the divine vibration, our highest attainment.
Simon is a dear friend with crossovers into all the other types of relationships: equanimous, servitor, carer, lover. He and I had "the talk" before we ever ventured into a physical expression of our affection. We had a platonic relation for several years and, one day, he dropped the hint. We had a very transparent conversation, it felt emotionally safe and the exchanges that resulted were of an amazing quality.
This was all new to me and I marvelled at the richness of the interactions within a freedom to be. The authenticity, transparency and lack of needy expectation meant nobody was getting hurt and everybody was getting nourished, not merely on a mundane level but also on a higher level. We always remember that who we really are are two souls having a human experience, and help each other along by bringing conscious awareness into all we do.
Little did I know that this sort of non attachment would serve me in the time when I actually "fell" in love, so I could pick myself up and love unconditionally. In fact, I came to realise that "falling in love" often translates as losing our centre due to the feelings that arise in us when in a particular someone's presence or absence, yet that in itself is a sign that the ego or pain body are at play. True love does not create internal disruption from desire of another but is a cause of fulfillment in merely radiating its vibration with pure intention.
Other men have come to play their role in my life to show me the true essence of love, not as I had been conditioned to imagine it by romantic songs and movies, but as it really is.
Omar is the friendly alien in my world. Where I am spiritual-philosophical inclined, he is practical, down to earth and commits to "everything is possible but nothing is certain." Our interactions are frequent and interesting because we are both curious and good listeners as well as both having loads of different experiences to draw on and talk about. I admire Omar because, without "believing" in any particular ideal or even trying to do any practice, he is given to service. He does not need to be spiritual because he gets it and lives it already. The ultimate reason for our interaction feels to be the harmonisation of opposites, without judgement, where we can thus gather life inspiration from each other.
Daniel is the homely guy. He calls me daily to chat about his day and ask me about mine, and we can rely on each other to help each other out - when he needs TLC or I need a pair of strong men's hands for a tough repairs job. There is no romance happening yet we find comfort in knowing someone is present. While we genuinely care about each other, there is no physical intimacy at all, and it feels perfect that way. This interaction feels like a genuine ability to care for and look out for another in the present, without agendas.
Robert is the mysterious, sexy guy who's emotionally unavailable. By mystery I mean that you never quite know what's going on with him. I do not require promises of forever love, but I am keen on heart to heart connection any time we interact. He was an interesting entry and exit in my life, one that showed me I'm past "trying to make it work." Emotions and heart connections are what matter most to me, in any relation. Without that, every other prospect is dry and tasteless.
Armando is the exotic romance guy. He is Spanish, plays in a band, has a beautiful bright smile and seems to like me a lot. He made it clear he was interested in me. He kissed me the most delicious kiss I ever experienced and informed me he had a girlfriend. Somehow still lucid, I explained that, while I can be unattached, I needed to know that all interactions and relations are operating on a level of authenticity and transparency, including with that woman in his life. I would not enable deceit and so had to pass on delicious kiss guy. I'm also past complicated. Further still, this felt like the ultimate test regarding where my priorities lay. I'm pleased to have chosen truth and conscious action or non-action over sense gratification and deceit. Next!
Max. Oh Max. The glint in his eye revealed a soul I knew lifetimes and his smile warmed my heart with an inexplicable love from the first moment. Yet the reality of the age gap, which initially felt irrelevant, terrified both of us somewhat. I could have overlooked time, but I could not overlook the fact that he was unable to unsheathe his sword. At least for the time being, mind won over heart.
With some inner challenge to not attempt to control, direct, or steer in any direction, I surrendered and let him go, our encounter brief yet its effect lasting. I realised that soul-sparkle love does exist and that that kind of unconditional love desires only to experience itself, irrelevant of proximity. I feel myself opening up to free, conscious and unconditional love.
Who else will be crossing my path? Is there such a thing as the One? I know that out there, somewhere, is perhaps more than one who's unattached, whole and desiring to expand and connect consciously and wholeheartedly with me, yet the One remains only the Divine Absolute. My first commitment is to myself in relation to the Whole, and every interaction and experience is but an expression of that.
Meanwhile, all you guys ... the love I feel for each of you, though it may transform, will last, for you are all beautifully unique parts of the One, who is dynamic, marvellous and irresistibly beautiful. Meanwhile, thank you for being you.