During these couple of months, since my last blog post, Theory of Conscious-Quantum-Gravity, a grand inspiration of sorts, a series of synchronicities happened as if to allow me to experience truly what it means to dance with life, a metaphor I often like to use. I was too busy exploring the concept in practice before I could write any more. I was curious about the magic.
I'll cover my butt by saying that it is just my perspective. Call me crazy, that's okay, I love you anyway, and I'll share this anyway in case anybody out there who's my kind of crazy can gather some inspiration from this.
To be frank, what we think doesn't matter, because thinking doesn't matter, except to produce matter, if matter is what we are concerned with. "I think therefore I am" could never sound so wrong; it only makes sense if we identify with our thoughts and form. It's a trap! It's like confusing the processor of the computer for the operating system!
When I wrote the model of the fabric of reality that I described in my last post, I was in a very intellectual space. I processed the information, it all made sense, and still does. If I knew how it works, all I had to do is remember the principles and apply them, right? Not so. I was beaten up until I had to admit that "I am not a good magician." Just until I realised that the magic does exist and it is called love.
When it came to experimenting with "being" in the matrix with that knowledge, I realised something very important: really living does not happen by thinking, nor by willing, but with feeling. And only love is divine power.
Love is the operating system that governs it all. And when fear creeps in like a virus, love is also the antivirus.
When this transition was happening, I felt inclined to watch The Matrix movie again. Back in 1999, that movie was an instigator of my quest for truth. Seventeen years later, I'm still talking about the frickin' movie. But let the super computer be super consciousness; take the quantum concept that we individually live in a shared illusory holographic reality, which we believe is real and all there is; imagine that we could hack the programming and see the completeness of everything really as it is.
When you're a dedicated hacker, the system may start to crumble before your eyes when you least expect it. I had a bit of a breakdown. Some call it the dark night of the soul, whatever, the feeling is the same. I saw my mind. I saw my ego. I saw my insecurities. I saw my fears. I saw all the things I thought made up me. I saw myself, yet I didn't recognise me. I didn't know who I was anymore. And then I knew all of me.
Self-judgement crept in, an ugly demon. I welcomed him as I welcomed the turmoil that I felt rising inside me sometimes, like a tornado sucking the "I" out of my solar plexus. My sense of self and identity was crumbling. I silently crept into my own shadows and dealt with my own death. And like a caterpillar turned butterfly, transitioned to a new life.
Three principles of butterfly wisdom
Who am I?
I am That, I am
Simultaneously One, yet different.
The caterpillar and the butterfly are different yet the same. All different forms are the same in substance. The fragment parts are the same quality (but not quantity) of the sum total or absolute, each possessing personality and unique characteristics essential for the function of the whole for the pleasure of the supreme personality.
Why am I here?
The relationship of Subject and Absolute
Service begins with me and no one gets left behind.
The caterpiller takes birth to become a butterfly - that is its destiny. In the same way, the jiva soul takes birth to realise its eternal identity as a service entity to the Absolute. When one tends towards exploitation, it works only for itself against the interest of the whole, like a cancer. In the plane of dedication, the living entity rediscovers its eternal constitution and function in perfect harmony.
Where am I going?
The way is Love
Love-Connect - Love-Shine - Love-Serve.
The caterpillar first nourishes itself from the environment but evolves to serve the environment by helping it propogate or evolve. In the same way we begin with an exploiting tendency and later evolve to expand the divine vibration of love through service to the Absolute.
To offer insight as to how an evolutionary life course may manifest by Divine will is merely to rejoice in the mercy and give praise to the Absolute Reality ... and to inspire others to also keep a watchful eye on themselves and how things work in their world. For now, I feel able only to write about it in poetry, however I will attempt to recount the process more vividly in a next post.
To conquer Fear
To Flow Rooted
To dance with the Elements
To access Consciousness
To see beyond Form
To be Present in Self
To accept I and the Whole
To find harmony in Me and We
All That Is
As It Is
With total Surrender
To Love and to Serve
For It Is Perfect
Reality the Beautiful.